Am I Judgmental?
- Jan 6
- 7 min read
Updated: Jan 13
What the Bible Says—and Why Modern Culture Is Just as Guilty
(Audio Version at the end of page)
What the Bible Actually Says About Judging
Jesus’ words are famous—and frequently misunderstood:
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”—Matthew 7:1
But He doesn’t stop there.
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”
Jesus is not banning moral discernment. He is confronting hypocrisy, pride, and blindness.
Biblical judgment goes wrong when it is:
self-exalting
selective
harsh without mercy
obsessed with others’ sin while excusing our own
Jesus doesn’t say, “Ignore the speck forever.” He says, “Remove the plank first.”
The problem isn’t clarity—it’s posture.
The Bible’s Tension: Discernment Without Condemnation
Scripture holds two truths at once:
Truth matters (John 8:32)
Mercy triumphs over judgment (James 2:13)
We are called to:
confront sin (Matthew 18:15)
restore gently (Galatians 6:1)
speak truth in love (Ephesians 4:15)
Biblical discernment always aims at restoration, never humiliation.
If my “truth” doesn’t leave room for repentance, healing, or grace, it’s not the kind of truth Jesus modelled.
How Contemporary Society Judges (While Claiming Not To)
Here’s the irony: modern culture loudly rejects judgment—while practising it relentlessly.
Today’s judgment often looks like:
labelling instead of listening
shaming instead of correcting
cancelling instead of restoring
moral outrage without self-examination
We’ve replaced “thus says the Lord” with “the internet has spoken.”
And unlike biblical judgment, modern judgment:
rarely forgives
never forgets
offers no path back
It’s condemnation dressed up as accountability.
The Subtle Ways We Become Judgmental
Judgment doesn’t always sound cruel. Sometimes it sounds reasonable.
“I would never do that.”
“They should know better.”
“At least I’m not like them.”
“This says more about them than me.”
Judgment often begins as comparison—and comparison almost always needs a villain.
So… Am I Judgmental?
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: probably, yes—sometimes.
The better question is:
What kind of judge am I being?
Ask yourself:
1. Do I examine my heart as closely as I examine others’ behaviour?
Or do I notice flaws outwardly before inwardly?
2. Do I feel secretly superior when pointing out someone else’s failure?
If there’s satisfaction in the exposure, something’s off.
3. Would I speak the same words if the person were in the room?
Anonymity reveals posture.
4. Do I hope for their restoration—or just their correction?
Love wants healing, not humiliation.
5. Am I willing to be judged by the same standard I use on others?
Jesus says we will be.
What Jesus Models Instead
Jesus sees sin clearly—and still leads with compassion.
He confronts:
without crushing
corrects without shaming
names truth without weaponizing it
He never denies brokenness. He just refuses to define people by it.
A Better Way Forward
Before judging, try this pause:
Is this my responsibility?
Is my heart humble?
Is my goal love or control?
Is there grace in my tone—not just truth in my words?
Because the goal is not to stop discerning.
The goal is to stop condemning.
Judgment that lacks mercy hardens the heart. Mercy without truth weakens the soul.
Jesus offers something harder—and holier: truth soaked in grace.
And maybe the real spiritual work isn’t asking, “Am I right?”
But: “Am I becoming more like Him?”
A Short Devotional: Before You Judge
Scripture: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” — Matthew 7:1
Jesus’ words are familiar, but familiarity can dull their edge. We often hear them as a command to stop thinking critically—or worse, a permission slip to ignore truth altogether. But Jesus isn’t asking us to turn off discernment. He’s asking us to turn on humility.
The problem Jesus confronts isn’t judgment—it’s hypocritical judgment. It’s the instinct to zoom in on someone else’s failure while staying strangely blind to our own. The plank-and-speck imagery isn’t subtle. It’s meant to be almost absurd.
And yet, here we are.
In a culture where everyone has a platform and an opinion, judgment has become a reflex. We call it “discernment,” “accountability,” or “just being honest.” But Jesus invites us to pause and ask a deeper question: What is happening in my heart as I speak?
Biblical correction always moves toward restoration. Condemnation moves toward distance.
Today’s invitation isn’t to ignore sin—but to examine ourselves first, to speak with mercy, and to remember that we stand before God by grace alone.
Prayer: Jesus, slow my reflex to judge and sharpen my willingness to repent. Remove what blinds me to my own need for grace. Teach me to see others the way You see me—clearly, truthfully, and with mercy. In Your name I pray. Amen.
Reflection Questions for Group Discussion
Use these for a small group, Bible study, or honest conversation. There are no quick answers here—give them room to breathe.
When you hear “do not judge,” what emotions come up for you—relief, defensiveness, confusion, resistance? Why?
What’s the difference between discernment and judgment in your own life?
Where does that line tend to blur?
Jesus talks about removing the plank first.
What are some “planks” that are easy to ignore but hard to remove?
Think of a time you felt judged by someone.
What made it painful? What do you wish they had done differently?
Is there someone you’ve labelled instead of loved?
What might restoration—not correction—look like in that situation?
How does remembering your own need for grace change the way you approach hard conversations?
What would it look like for your community to practice truth and mercy more faithfully?
“Judge Not” Passages We Often Misquote (or Misuse)
Let’s slow down and look at a few Scriptures that get pulled out of context.
1. Matthew 7:1 — “Do not judge…”
Often used to shut down any moral conversation.
What Jesus actually means: He continues by saying, “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged.” The issue isn’t judgment itself—it’s the standard and posture we use.
Jesus assumes discernment later in the same passage (how else would you know a speck exists?). He condemns hypocrisy, not clarity.
2. John 8:7 — “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone.”
Often interpreted as: No one can say anything about sin.
What Jesus actually does: He stops a public execution fuelled by self-righteousness. Then He tells the woman, “Go and sin no more.”
Grace first. Truth still spoken. No stones—no denial either.
3. Luke 6:37 — “Do not judge, and you will not be judged.”
Often read as a blanket ban on moral evaluation.
Context matters: The same passage speaks about forgiveness, generosity, and mercy. Jesus is addressing condemning judgment—the kind that writes people off, not the kind that calls people back.
4. Romans 14 — “Who are you to judge someone else’s servant?”
Often used to say: “No one should ever challenge my choices.”
What Paul is addressing: Disputable matters—issues of conscience, not clear moral commands. This passage teaches humility in gray areas, not silence in the face of harm or injustice.
We don’t stop judging by pretending sin doesn’t exist. We stop judging by remembering that we exist by mercy. The goal isn’t to be less truthful. It’s to be less self-righteous.
And maybe the most faithful question we can ask before speaking is this:
“Am I trying to win—or am I trying to love?”
How Jesus Corrected People Without Shaming Them
Jesus never avoided truth. But He also never used truth to humiliate.
That combination—clarity without cruelty—is rare. And it’s worth studying closely, because the way Jesus corrects people reveals not only what He believes about sin, but what He believes about people.
1. Jesus Corrected Privately When Possible
Shame thrives in public exposure. Jesus often chose another way.
Take the woman at the well (John 4). Jesus names her complicated relationship history—clearly, directly—but alone, not in front of her village. And when the story spreads, it’s because she tells it, not because He exposes her.
Correction that aims to heal doesn’t need an audience.
Jesus protects dignity even while confronting truth.
2. Jesus Asked Questions Before Making Accusations
Instead of leading with condemnation, Jesus often began with curiosity.
“Do you want to be made well?” (John 5:6)
“Who do you say that I am?” (Matthew 16:15)
“Why are you so afraid?” (Mark 4:40)
Questions invite self-awareness. Accusations invite defence.
Jesus let people see themselves before telling them what needed to change.
3. Jesus Separated Identity from Behaviour
Jesus never confused a person’s worst moment with their worth.
To Zacchaeus, a corrupt tax collector, Jesus says, “I must stay at your house today” (Luke 19)—before Zacchaeus repents, not after. Acceptance comes first. Transformation follows.
Jesus confronts sin without branding the sinner as disposable.
4. Jesus Refused to Join Shame-Based Crowds
In John 8, religious leaders drag a woman caught in adultery into public view. The setting is intentional: exposure, pressure, spectacle.
Jesus dismantles the moment without dismissing the law. He redirects the gaze inward:
“Let the one without sin cast the first stone.”
Shame requires a crowd. Grace thins it out.
5. Jesus Spoke Hard Truth With Grief, Not Glee
When Jesus confronts hypocrisy—especially among religious leaders—His tone is sharp, but His heart is broken.
“Jerusalem, Jerusalem… how often I have longed to gather your children together…” (Matthew 23:37)
Even His strongest words are soaked in sorrow, not superiority.
If correction feels satisfying, it’s probably not Christlike.
6. Jesus Invited People Into Change Instead of Forcing It
Jesus says:
“Follow me.”
“Go and sin no more.”
“Come and see.”
He invites rather than coerces.
Shame tries to control behaviour through fear. Jesus changes behaviour through relationship.
7. Jesus Made Space for Repentance to Be Voluntary
Repentance that comes from humiliation rarely lasts. Repentance that comes from love reshapes a life.
Peter denies Jesus publicly—and Jesus restores him quietly, by a charcoal fire, asking three times, “Do you love me?” (John 21)
Same number of questions as denials. No lecture. No shaming. Only restoration.
What This Means for Us
If we want to correct like Jesus, we have to ask harder questions of ourselves than of others.
Before speaking, ask:
Am I protecting this person’s dignity?
Am I more invested in being right than being redemptive?
Would I say this the same way if I loved them deeply?
Is my tone shaped by grief—or by irritation?
Truth spoken without love becomes a weapon. Love spoken without truth becomes avoidance.
Jesus holds both—and invites us to do the same.
A Final Reflection
Jesus never minimized sin. He just refused to maximize shame.
And that might be the most radical thing about Him.
Because people rarely change when they feel exposed—but they often change when they feel seen.
