What if I can't forgive?
- Apr 16
- 2 min read
Updated: Jul 16
Forgiveness is a complex and multifaceted concept, and understanding its nuances is essential to navigating the challenges of human relationships. In the Bible, forgiveness is presented as a sacred act of compassion and mercy, rooted in the love and grace of God. It is seen as a way to heal and restore relationships, offering redemption and a fresh start.
Secularly, forgiveness is often viewed as a way to let go of resentment and move forward, focusing on personal growth and emotional well-being. Yet, despite the benefits of forgiveness, many struggle to offer it to others and themselves. The act of forgiveness can be challenging because it requires vulnerability and a willingness to let go of hurt and anger. For some, forgiving can feel like relinquishing power or justifying the actions of those who have caused harm. It can be especially difficult when the hurt runs deep, or when trust has been broken repeatedly.
In the parable of the unforgiving debtor in Matthew 18:21-22, Jesus instructs us on the attitude we should have towards those who do us wrong; “Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!” In the Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6:12 , Jesus teaches us to pray “and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.”, pointing out that the measure in which we forgive others is what will be used to grant us forgiveness before God. Doesn’t this want to make you forgive everyone for everything wrong they have done against you? If not, then you should explore the emotion of bitterness in more detail.
In Colossians 3:13, believers are encouraged to "bear with one another and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you". Because forgiveness is the core principle behind our salvation, we are encouraged to not make any concessions when it comes to the tenets of our own forgiveness and liberation in Christ.
The path to forgiveness is often a journey, and it may involve processing complex emotions and working through personal barriers. Additionally, forgiving oneself is a crucial aspect of this journey. Self-forgiveness can be even more challenging than forgiving others, as it requires confronting one's own shortcomings and mistakes. It means accepting one's humanity and offering oneself the same compassion and understanding extended to others.
